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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29650827">accusations of heroism</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAim/pseuds/CaptainAim'>CaptainAim</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But neither is anyone else, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Hero Worship, Phil has a character outside of dad, Phil is not a hero, Philza and Technoblade are best friends, Platonic Relationships, Technoblade and Philza Minecraft Are Not Related, TommyInnit and Tubbo are Best Friends, TommyInnit-centric, Tommyinnit and Philza Minecraft Are Not Related, Winged Philza Minecraft (Dream SMP)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:28:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29650827</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAim/pseuds/CaptainAim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Every story has its heroes; every man sings the praises of another. Heroism is woven throughout history and legend, always present in stories of bravery and grandeur, always shining a light against the monsters.</p><p>Tommy had heard the stories, the legends, the tales of heroes in days gone by. Too late, he realizes that there's a big difference between the pretty words of a story and the bitter actions of reality.</p><p>(Or, Tommy slowly realizes that Phil was not the hero Wilbur always painted him as)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Technoblade (Dream SMP) &amp; Philza Minecraft (Dream SMP), Tommyinnit (Dream SMP) &amp; Philza Minecraft (Dream SMP), Wilbur Soot (Dream SMP) &amp; Philza Minecraft (Dream SMP)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>accusations of heroism</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We’re like brothers, you know.”</p><p>“Don’t say that, I will cry.”</p><p>Tommy grinned at Wilbur as he pushed by with his axe. “No, it’s true, though. You’re like my big brother, always telling me what to do and shit, and then I go ‘no Wilbur, I don’t want to chop down trees, because I am way more cooler and don’t have to do boring stuff’ and then you listen to me because I am right.”</p><p>“God, you’re such a bastard child,” sighed Wilbur, swinging his axe at the nearest tree. “I asked you to chop down three trees! Three! And now you’re complaining like the child you are–”</p><p>“I’m not a child, I’m a grown man! I’m all big and shit. And I shouldn’t have to chop down the trees.”</p><p>“If you don’t do your job, then I’m not gonna play you any music tonight. In fact, I’ll hike up that big-ass mountain we passed earlier just so I can play my guitar without you hearing.”</p><p>“Fine, <em> fine, </em>I’ll chop down the trees.”</p><p>“Really, that– Oh, whatever, thank you Tommy.”</p><p>“You are welcome, big man,” replied Tommy overdramatically, though he made no effort to actually start gathering wood. “Say, if we’re brothers, does that mean I get your parents?”</p><p>Wilbur let out a loud shout of laughter, scaring off several birds from a nearby tree. “That’s not– Tommy, I don’t think that’s how that works. You don’t just <em> get </em>parents.”</p><p>“Hm. Well I think I should,” Tommy announced. “Do you even have parents? Like a Mum and a Dad and shit? Or did you just, like, crawl out of somewhere like a rat?”</p><p>“Yes, I crawled out of a dirt hole, and now I’m a man,” said Wilbur sarcastically. “But, yes, I do have a dad.”</p><p>“Can he be my dad?”</p><p>“I think he’d have to meet you first. And I doubt he’d want to adopt a gremlin child like you.”</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>Wilbur chuckled. “I’m kidding. He’d probably like you. Not that that’s saying much, he likes almost everyone. It’s weird.”</p><p>“Well, if he can’t be my dad, then can you at least tell me about him?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure.” Wilbur set down his axe, seemingly giving up on the whole ‘force Tommy to chop wood’ idea, and sat down on the grass nearby, gesturing for Tommy to sit with him. “Good ol’ Philza Minecraft. Where do I begin?”</p><p>Tommy immediately took advantage of the opportunity to not do work and sprawled out next to Wilbur. “That’s a stupid name.”</p><p>“It’s a great name,” defended Wilbur. “And he’s a great dude, really great. When I was young, we lived in this tiny little house at the edge of the woods, and monsters would always come out during the night and try to attack us. I was proper terrified, I was, and I’d hide up in my room, but then I’d watch Phil go and kill ‘em from my window.”</p><p>“You sound like a pussy.”</p><p>“I was! I mean, I was also like, five, so that’s to be expected.” Wilbur shook his head. “But Phil would always do that. Whenever I was in danger, even if it wasn’t that big, he’d always come save me and kill all the monsters.”</p><p>“Duly noted. Philza Minecraft is not a pussy. I’m gonna tell him that when I meet him.”</p><p>“Please don’t,” begged Wilbur.</p><p>“No, I’m gonna. And then he’ll be so impressed that I’m gonna become <em> his </em>dad.”</p><p>“You’re insufferable.”</p><p>“I don’t know what that means.”</p>
<hr/><p>“I can’t believe you did that, Tommy!” Wilbur’s voice cracked with excitement. “You did it! You fucking saved L’Manburg!”</p><p>“Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” laughed Tommy. “I really am the best person alive, thanks for noticing.”</p><p>The fire crackled nearby as their voices rose steadily higher in pitch. As of three hours ago, the four of them– Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, and Fundy– were sitting in the newly-independent state of L’Manburg, and Tommy’s heart burned with pride as he looked at his friends.</p><p>It also burned with the memory of Dream’s arrow, piercing straight through his chest, but he wasn’t going to share that aloud.</p><p>“Y’know, I think, when we rebuild L’Manburg, we should make a great big sign declaring Tommyinnit as a hero,” Tubbo commented.</p><p>Tommy grinned at his best friend. “I agree wholeheartedly.”</p><p>“How ‘bout this. When L’Manburg is being rebuilt, we’ll get two great big plaques and put ‘em in the center of town. One for Tommy, and one for Phil,” interjected Wilbur, and Fundy rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Oh, here we go again, it’s ‘Wilbur rants about Philza Minecraft’ time.” Fundy’s voice was joking, but not harsh.</p><p>“Wait, hold on, isn’t he your grandpa or something?” asked Tubbo.</p><p>“Yeah, Phil’s like his old man, but even older. Super old man Philza Minecraft!” Tommy joked.</p><p>“Oh, god, I’m starting to regret making this nation,” said Wilbur, as he tossed another log onto the fire. “My dad is the best man–”</p><p>“Oh, my dad, my dad, have you heard about my dad?” Tommy mocked.</p><p>“Tommy.”</p><p>“Sorry, sorry.”</p><p>Wilbur rolled his eyes, but continued. “He’s the best man I’ve ever known. He’s taught me so much: how to write, and how to survive, and–”</p><p>“Did he teach you how to poo?” Tommy asked, and then quickly ducked to avoid the rock thrown at him by Wilbur.</p><p>“He taught me everything I know,” Wilbur said, and his voice lowered as he took on a more serious tone. “I don’t think I could’ve built L’Manburg if it weren’t for Phil.”</p><p>“Alright, fine, we’ll build him a plaque,” acquiesced Fundy.</p><p>Tommy sat up suddenly. “Woah, woah, woah, hang on, what happened to <em> my </em>plaque? I want a plaque!”</p><p>“You can have a plaque too Tommy, don’t worry,” Wilbur reassured. “A great big one, declaring Tommy and Phil the heroes of L’Manburg!”</p><p>“I want my own plaque.”</p><p>“Fine, you can have your own.”</p>
<hr/><p>“So how do you know this blade dude, and why are we walking <em> so far </em>to talk to one dude?”</p><p>“It’s <em> Technoblade </em>, and I told you, he’s a friend of my dad’s.”</p><p>Tommy’s feet felt like they were on fire. They’d been hiking for almost three days straight, in god knows what direction, and Tommy wanted nothing more than to just go home, but Wilbur kept pushing them onwards. Not that they had any home to go back to, not anymore.</p><p>“Didn’t you say he was like, a potato farmer or some shit?” Tommy asked. “How’s that gonna help us get L’Manburg back?”</p><p>“People can have multiple talents, Tommy.”</p><p>“Well, yeah, but potato farming and anarchy seem like vastly different things. Unless he’s throwing potatoes at presidents or something.”</p><p>Wilbur chuckled. It had been a while since Tommy had heard him properly laugh. “I don’t know what he’s like, I just know that Phil trusts him, and he said he could help.”</p><p>“Oh, well, if Phil trusts him, then that’s worthy enough for a <em> month's </em>worth of hiking!” exclaimed Tommy sarcastically.</p><p>“Hey! This is Philza Minecraft we’re talking about, show some respect!” Wilbur’s tone was joking, but there was a seriousness in his eyes that gave Tommy pause.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized. “So was this guy like your secret uncle or something? Is that even a thing? Secret uncles?”</p><p>“I don’t know, and no, I only met him once,” laughed Wilbur. “But Phil would always go on and on about their adventures together, and how they fought together like brothers. ‘Brothers, forged in blood,’ he’d tell me. And then he’d say some shit about how Techno was the man he trusted most in this world, and how if I ever needed help, I should go to him.”</p><p>“And now you’re dragging me thousands of miles away so we can talk to him.”</p><p>“Thousands of– Tommy, this isn’t thousands of miles, we’ve been walking for three days, not years.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, I think it’s three days too long.”</p><p>“It’ll be worth it,” Wilbur promised. “If this is the man that Phil trusts most, then he is a great man indeed.”</p>
<hr/><p>Tommy paced nervously around the floor of the ravine. Off to one end, he could hear Wilbur doing the same, but the older man’s pacing was interrupted by muttering and crazed looks and promises of bloodshed and destruction.</p><p>It scared Tommy, scared him more than Dream or Eret or any battle ever had, because this was <em> Wilbur, </em> this was his brother, and he was lost in some horrible pit of paranoia and despair, and no matter how hard Tommy tried, he couldn’t pull him back up.</p><p>Normally, when Tommy felt this helpless, he’d contact Tubbo, and they’d sit at their bench and talk, and he’d return home a few hours later feeling just a little bit lighter. But Schlatt had been tightening his grip on Manburg, and Tubbo was trapped inside. As lonely as Tommy was, he didn’t want to risk Tubbo’s well-being for a simple chat.</p><p>Unfortunately, that left him alone with what was probably the least socially-inclined person Tommy had ever met.</p><p>“So, are your potatoes, like, magic or some shit, and that’s why there are so many of them?”</p><p>“Nope, just regular potatoes.” Technoblade didn’t even bother looking up from his hoe.</p><p>“Well, that’s no fun.” Tommy perched himself on one of the fences so that he could talk to Techno without being yelled at for trampling the crops. “I think you should have magic potatoes. That’d be funny, I think.”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>“What do you think, big man? Do you think magic potatoes would be funny? You should say yes.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“You are horrible at talking to people, y’know.”</p><p>“Mmmyep.”</p><p>Tommy sighed overdramatically and shifted on his post. He wondered if jumping down onto the crops would get the man to talk more, but the glower that appeared in Techno’s eyes as he tentatively lowered a foot seemed to suggest he probably wouldn’t make it out of the farm alive.</p><p>“Wilbur told me once that I should ask people more about shit they like, instead of stuff I like,” announced Tommy. </p><p>“I’ve never seen someone miss the point so bad,” Techno said dryly.</p><p>“Hey! I’m getting to the point, dickhead! And I would’ve got there earlier if you didn’t interrupt me like a little bitch. You’re just a little bitch in a–” Tommy cut himself off as Techno gave him another pointed stare. “Anyway, right, what I was gonna say was that you should tell me what you like, so we can have a conversation that’s all good and shit.”</p><p>“Uh, I like potatoes,” offered Techno unhelpfully.</p><p>“Thanks, big man, that’s really helpful. Great conversation,” Tommy laughed. “What about, I dunno, people? You got any people that you love?”</p><p>For the first time since Tommy had entered the room, Techno paused in his farming.</p><p>“Aha! I figured it out! Big man Tommyinnit figures out the truth! Technoblade’s in looove,” taunted Tommy.</p><p>Techno looked like he wanted to stab someone. Probably Tommy. “Not like that, stop bein’ a child.”</p><p>“I’m not being a child, I’m being quite mature actually.” Tommy hopped along the fence so that he could see eye-to-eye with Techno. “Who is this person, then, that you’re totally not in love with?”</p><p>“His name’s Phil, and I’m actually not in love with him, because that’d be weird.”</p><p>Tommy made a noise of disgust. “Ugh, yeah, that’s Wilbur’s dad innit, that <em> would </em>be weird.”</p><p>“Thank you for noticin’.” Much to Tommy’s annoyance, Techno returned to his previous task of planting potatoes and ignoring the boy.</p><p>“Well, you’re still not talking about him. You should talk about him. Tell me a story or something.”</p><p>Techno finally set down his hoe and looked over at Tommy. “Alright. Me and Phil. Stories. Yes. I know those.”</p><p>“Any day now, big man.”</p><p>“Uh, one time Phil and I took over the world together.”</p><p>“You did fucking <em> what?! </em>” spluttered Tommy.</p><p>“Well, the server we were in had all these governments, and you know my view on governments.”</p><p>“Yes, yes, you’re an anarchist, I got that, I’m more concerned about the whole ‘world conquering’ thing.”</p><p>“We didn’t conquer it, per say, we just claimed a whole lot of it,” Techno admitted. “You see, I realized one day that the way all these governments were gettin’ all their power was by just claimin’ other people’s land, so I tried to tell people to stop, and they just ignored me. So then I came up with this plan where Phil and I would claim a bunch of random pieces of the ocean, and make it <em> seem </em>like we took over the entire world, so that everyone would be forced to stop claimin’ over each other like boomers.”</p><p>“And Phil just agreed to... to taking over the world?” asked Tommy incredulously.</p><p>Techno laughed. “Oh, Phil was more down for it than I was! I didn’t even have to explain the whole government thing to him, he just went with it.”</p><p>“But–” Tommy’s voice faltered slightly. “But I thought Phil was a hero!”</p><p>“Did Wilbur tell you that?” Tommy didn’t reply, but Techno must have gleaned the answer from Tommy’s face, because he continued, “I don’t know Wilbur, but I know that he means everythin’ to Phil, and I’m willin’ to bet Phil means everythin’ to Wilbur, too. Phil is <em> Wilbur’s </em>hero, so that’s the story Wilbur tells. But I don’t think Phil has ever seen himself as a hero.”</p><p>Tommy was silent as a billion thoughts ran through his mind. It made sense, he supposed, because the only person who’d ever told him about Phil had been his own son, so of course Tommy wouldn’t know the whole truth. But he couldn’t shake the idea that Phil wasn’t the idol he’d always heard he was.</p><p>“Besides, Tommy.” Techno’s low voice interrupted Tommy’s thoughts. “If I were you, I wouldn’t try too hard to be a hero.”</p>
<hr/><p>In a sense, Tommy had known what was coming.</p><p>He’d known before he’d lost track of Wilbur, before the bombs went off, before he stood in the ruins of his country and looked up at the man he’d called a brother.</p><p>Because Wilbur had always called Phil a hero, and then one day Wilbur started calling himself a villain. There was only one way that could end, no matter how they spun it. One horrible, inevitable conclusion to the story of Wilbur Soot.</p><p>Tommy also knew that Wilbur hadn’t been good, not towards the end. He’d hurt people, had hurt Tommy, had brought pain and destruction to the nation that he once called his own. And maybe he’d never been good, maybe there had always been a sliver of that villain hidden inside, covered by pretty words and beautiful promises.</p><p>It hadn’t made the sight of the sword through his brother’s chest hurt any less.</p>
<hr/><p>“I don’t know, Tubbo,” Tommy admitted, head in his hands. “I just.... don’t know.”</p><p>Tommy didn’t need to look up to know how his friend was looking at him, he knew it’d be with the same sympathetic eyes that met him every time they sat on this bench. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>Tommy made a noncommittal noise. “Do you, uh, think Wilbur was right? With what he said back in Pogtopia, ‘bout us being the bad guys?”</p><p>“I dunno, I wasn’t really with him that much,” Tubbo admitted. “But I don’t think he was really himself, towards the end. I wouldn’t take any of his words too seriously.”</p><p>“But then Techno called me a hero!” he exclaimed angrily. “He called me a hero, and then he tried to fucking kill me! And Wilbur called me a villain, but he never tried to kill me, and Dream–”</p><p>“Does it matter?” interrupted Tubbo. “I mean, we’ve got L’Manburg back, at least in spirit, if not, y’know, in one piece, and maybe now we can try and move on! Put our past in the past, or whatever they say.”</p><p>“I don’t think that’s quite what they say, Tubbo,” Tommy chuckled, despite the weight still hanging heavily on his shoulders. “But it does matter, because I don’t want to be a villain, I want to be good, I want to <em> do </em>good!”</p><p>“Well, I don’t think villains want to do good, so you seem alright on that bit”.</p><p>“But don’t they do what they think is good? Like Wilbur, even when he was losing it, he only wanted to blow up L’Manburg because he thought it brought everyone pain. And if everyone sees themselves as the hero of their own story, then how do we know what is right?”</p><p>Even as he said the words, Tommy knew he was wrong. Technoblade’s words seemed to echo in his mind, pushing through all the din of his competing thoughts.</p><p><em> Phil has never seen himself as a hero </em>.</p><p>But Phil was a hero, he’d killed Wilbur, he’d saved L’Manburg. He <em> was </em>a hero, more than Tommy or Tubbo or Wilbur, or anyone else. So why, of all people, didn’t he see himself as a one?</p><p>“I don’t think it matters, really.” Tubbo’s words interrupted Tommy’s musings. “All this hero and villain stuff, I think that’s mostly in, like, fairy tales and stories. I think we should just do what we think is right, fight against Dream, and for L’Manburg, and all that. Because that’s what we do, that’s what everyone does, regardless of whether they’re a hero or not.”</p><p>Not for the first time, Tommy was blown away by his quiet friend’s wisdom, a wisdom disguised by his simpler words and younger voice.</p><p>“Maybe you’re right,” he admitted. “Thank you, Tubbo.”</p><p>“No problem, big man!”</p>
<hr/><p>“This is the ugliest path I’ve ever seen.”</p><p>“Fuck you! This is a wonderful path, it’s all cobble-y and shit.”</p><p>“Yeah, an ugly cobblestone path that leads straight to my house, which is <em> supposed </em>to be hidden.” Techno’s voice was filled with annoyance, but there was a glimmer of affection in his eye. Or, rather, there was a glimmer of what Tommy hoped was affection, because otherwise things were about to get real bad real quick.</p><p>“Everyone knows where your house is, you’ve got a big-ass chimney blowing smoke upwards! My path can’t hide that!”</p><p>“What, so I’m just supposed to freeze to death? The whole point of me movin’ north was so that I wouldn’t be found, and now you’ve gone and built a path directly from the L’Manburg portal to mine!”</p><p>“Well, technically it’s the community portal, not the L’Manburg portal,” Tommy argued, then shrunk back as Techno glared back at him.</p><p>“You could’ve at least put some railings on, made it a bit harder to fall into lava.”</p><p>Tommy laughed. “What is it with you and railings? Everywhere you go, you go ‘Oh, well, these stairs could have more railings.’ ‘You ought to have more railings.’ ‘Maybe if you had some railings.’ It’s fucking <em> weird</em>, man.”</p><p>“It’s not my fault everyone keeps fallin’,” replied Techno.</p><p>“I don’t– I’ve never fell a day in my life, thank you very much!”</p><p>“I feel like you definitely have, at some point.”</p><p>“Nope. Came out the womb running. I’m like the Flash, always running and shit– Does the Flash fall? That wouldn’t be a very superhero-y thing to do. Also, what do you mean everyone, there’s only like three people who live in my house?”</p><p>“First off, it’s <em> my </em>house, not yours–”</p><p>“Is not. It’s mine now, bitch.”</p><p>“–And second off, Phil falls sometimes.”</p><p>“Probably his old man bones.” Tommy tensed as he said the words, expecting Techno to retaliate back in his friends name, but Techno just laughed. </p><p>“Yeah, probably.”</p><p>“Where is Phil, anyway?” asked Tommy, after he was certain that broaching the topic wouldn’t get him pushed into the lava below. “‘Cause I know he lives with you, but he’s never in my house.”</p><p>“<em>My </em>house, and he’s off explorin’. He hates stayin’ in one place, it makes him too restless. He’ll be back soon.”</p><p>Tommy thought of the times he'd seen Phil and Techno together, working on farms or chopping down trees or just relaxing by the fire. He'd been in awe, the first few times, of how well they moved together, like they always knew exactly where the other was going. They seemed to almost fit together, like two parts of the same complex puzzle.</p><p>“You guys know each other really well,” he commented.</p><p>“We’re best friends,” replied Techno simply. “I know him, he knows me. Probably better than we know ourselves.”</p><p>“So, uh, does Phil agree with you on shit?”</p><p>“On?”</p><p>“Y’know, like, L’Manburg and shit.” Tommy winced as he said it aloud. They’d been avoiding the topic of L’Manburg, but he doubted it was because the older man had given up on his plans of destruction.</p><p>“Yeah, more or less.”</p><p>“More or less?”</p><p>Techno sighed, and sat down on an outcropping of netherrack, looking at Tommy intently. Reluctantly, Tommy took a seat next to him.</p><p>“Phil’s not as committed as me to anarchy,” he began. “He doesn’t really care about governments, one way or another. He’s helped me destroy them, in the past, but I don’t think he’d go out of his way to do that on his own.”</p><p>Tommy looked up at him in confusion. “So he’s just helping you?”</p><p>“Not exactly. He’s– Phil might not have anythin’ against governments, but he’s definitely not a fan of L’Manburg.”</p><p>“But Wilbur built L’Manburg! Phil came to this server to save L’Manburg, why would he want to destroy it now?”</p><p>“You’re forgettin’ somethin’, Tommy.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“My execution.”</p><p>Tommy shuddered. He hadn’t been there to see Techno’s execution, hadn’t even known it was planned, and Techno had seemed reluctant to share any details. But Techno had seemed a bit more off put the first day they’d spoken, when Techno had found Tommy hidden in his basement, and Tommy wondered suddenly if that was due to whatever had happened during his attempted execution.</p><p>“But you didn’t die,” Tommy said with confusion. “Besides, I thought you said you didn’t care all that much. That you’d already made up your mind about L’Manburg.”</p><p>“<em>I </em>didn’t care, Tommy. Phil did. He had to watch.”</p><p>Something clicked in Tommy’s head. <em> He’d been forced to watch his best friend’s execution. </em> And suddenly, memories of festivals, and speeches, and too many fireworks that were all the wrong colors were flooding through Tommy’s mind, and he was remembering the smoke from the rockets and the smile on Wilbur’s face and the blank look in Tubbo’s eyes as his lifeless corpse fell to the ground.</p><p>“I’d imagine that’d hurt,” Tommy said bitterly, and the look Techno gave him told him he didn’t need to say all the things running through his mind, because Techno already knew.</p><p>They sat in silence for a while, and Tommy, for once, was grateful for it. He knew what Techno would say, if they argued. That Tubbo was already dead, that if he hadn’t killed him, someone else would have. </p><p>They’d had the argument a million times. But however much they fought, it didn’t make the memories go away.</p><p>“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” Techno said, after a while. “I just want you to understand that Phil is just as angry. He doesn’t want revenge. He just wants me safe.”</p><p>“And you?” Tommy tried, unsuccessfully, to keep the bitterness out of his voice.</p><p>“What do you think?” asked Techno, with some amusement. “I want exactly the same for him.”</p>
<hr/><p>They’d had the argument eventually, of course. It didn’t matter how many times they fought, or whether they were fighting with their fists in a rocky pit or beneath a darkened sky from which explosions rained. It was the same fight, because Tommy couldn’t forgive Techno, because whatever reasons he’d had, Tubbo was his best friend, and there was no way in hell that he could ever stand aside and forgive the fear and pain that Techno had brought.</p><p>He’d seen Phil, too, fighting alongside Techno. He’d come face to face with the winged man briefly, and he’d been ready to confront the man who’d helped destroy his country. But he'd seen the fire and rage that he’d seen burning in Phil’s eyes, a burning desire to protect, a raw anger at what had happened to his friend mixed with a determination to put an end to the powers that did it. He'd seen himself reflected in those eyes, and he’d ran away, back to Tubbo, to the same familiar fight, because there, at least, he knew what his role was.</p><p>He couldn’t understand Techno, couldn’t forgive what he’d done to his friend, his speeches and ideals mixed with explosions and blood.</p><p>But, for the first time, Tommy thought he understood Phil.</p>
<hr/><p>“No no no no no, let me out, let me OUT!”</p><p>Tommy could hear his voice breaking, could feel the panic creeping steadily into his bones. The jet-black walls seemed to push against him, a constant reminder that he was trapped, that there was nowhere to run, that every time he’d tried to be a hero, he’d end up trapped in the same black box with the same masked man, clad in green.</p><p>Dream was saying something, no doubt something about the agreements he’d signed, about the fate that he was now facing. Tommy didn’t hear it. All he could hear was the steady gurgle of the lava, flowing past, creating yet another wall of horrible reminders.</p><p>Where was Sam? Sam should be helping him out, should be letting him out, there was no way he could be stuck here, not with Dream, not alone–</p><p>The weight of what was happening crashed down on him all at once.</p><p>Tommy was alone.</p><p>Sam was gone, off defending the prison from whatever had tried to breach it earlier. Wilbur was gone, dead by his father’s hand, and nothing was left but an empty shell of a ghost. Techno was gone, any chance at a friendship dashed by past memories and long-dead countries.</p><p>Tommy was alone, and he was scared.</p><p>He couldn’t get out of this prison, he knew that. Sam had reassured him, during every visit, that the prison was unbreakable, that no matter how hard Dream may try, there was no escape from the small black box. And even if there was, there was no way for him to get out without Dream following him.</p><p>Tommy was alone, and he was trapped.</p><p>Wilbur and Techno’s words seemed to whisper in his ears. <em> You’re a hero, find a way out. Find a way to win. </em> But he wasn’t a hero, he was just some kid, and he was stuck with all his worst nightmares closing in around him.</p><p><em> Cry out for help </em> , Dream’s smile seemed to taunt him. <em> Cry out, and watch them not come. Because no one out there understands you enough. </em></p><p>Tommy could see the reflection of his face in Dream’s mask. He looked terrified, he realized, terrified and young and not strong enough to win.</p><p>And for half a second, he saw a different reflection, one of a man much older and stronger, but the same fire burning in his striking blue eyes.</p><p>“Phil,” Tommy said, and the first one was more of a whisper, but then he started shouting. “Phil! PHIL!!”</p><p>Dream was still laughing behind him, but Tommy could have sworn there was a pause of confusion as he shouted the older man’s name. He didn’t bother to explain himself. He knew Phil couldn’t hear him, knew that the man may not even come if he did, but it didn’t matter, because he wasn’t shouting the name for Phil to hear. He was shouting it for himself, to remind himself, to promise himself that whatever happened in this box, he had to keep fighting.</p><p>Because he had a best friend out there that he’d give the world for.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>pspsps my tumblr is @lesbiantechno go follow i need clout</p></blockquote></div></div>
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